I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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