the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
