He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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