His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
