how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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