I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
