3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
bring money and cleavage
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
