i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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