We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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