we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
