The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize