Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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