just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
