Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
