You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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