He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
