Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
