is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
