I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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