you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
