Tell her she can't have a vagina
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
