oh god the rape fog is back!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
