It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
