You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
