i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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