found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
