Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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