im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
