some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
