I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
