I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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