Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
