Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
