My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
