I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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