Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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