Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
