We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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