I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am spending my child support on dildos
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
