Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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