Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I could fuck to npr.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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