So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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