Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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