she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
