Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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