Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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