First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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