Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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