and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
