My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
