highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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