Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
