i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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